After reading my post about the friendship with MBA Man, one might wonder why I did not tell him immediately after he came out to me and why I did not suspect he was gay all along.
Why I didn’t tell him:
I was someone he told very early on in his coming out process. He had not been open at school and was only telling people on a “need to know” basis. Later, I was told that I was the first person he told just because he wanted to, not because he felt it was a must. I also knew it was rough, and even if I had been ready to spill the beans, it was my time to be a supportive friend—not the one in need of support myself.
Why I didn’t know:
At that time, and frankly to this day, I have not had many gay friends. Thus, my “gaydar” is not particularly acute.
In retrospect there were a few clues:
-He never talked about girls, and was not dating as far as anyone knew—I later learned he had in fact had a boyfriend he hid very well from everyone.
-He once offered to take me shopping and pick out an outfit for me. What straight guy does that??
-He gave me a ride home for break once, and if I recall correctly the music on that drive included Britney Spears and Hilary Duff. Not a dead give away, but also not general straight guy listening fare.