Thursday, October 11, 2007

In the Spirit of the Day...

No, I am not going to come out to a bunch of people today. But, I’m going to take a break from my chronology of Stories From the Past and back track a bit. Troystopher’s post on National Coming Out Day made me think a little bit more about the events surrounding MBA Man’s coming out to me.

I’ll admit that I’m human, and like in the essay Troystopher posted, I did tell someone else MBA Man’s secret. As I read through his Live Journal that September night for the second time, I was having a tough time getting over the initial shock. He was not someone I’d have ever thought was gay.

Enter Country Girl (who loves country music), a mutual friend of MBA Man and me. I often talked to her on MSN in the evenings, and that night was no exception. I was so shocked and confused by what I was reading…the whole blog was a lot to take in. I had to talk to somebody. I tried to tell her what was going on without names, but it didn’t work…

So, I swore her to secrecy and told her that I’d gotten the email and read the LJ and discovered this about our friend. She was more surprised than I, and we talked about it at length, really over the next few days. We both were feeling for him, knowing what bumpy road might be ahead, especially for a Catholic kid from a town even smaller than where we were at school. She wanted badly to contact him about it, but I asked her not to until I was able to tell him she knew. She agreed.

I felt really guilty about outing him to Country Girl, because I’m not one to blab secrets. I decided that it was important I tell him in person, so when we met for dinner a few weeks later I told him she knew. I was relieved to see he was OK with it, and he may have even said he figured I would let her know, I don’t really recall.

I know how important it is to keep the confidence of friends, but I also know that being told something that almost no one around you knows can weigh really heavily. I am grateful to MBA Man for having understood my need to talk to another friend about what he’d told me.

Another reason he’s the best kind of friend anyone could hope for.


eliot said...

Your post is precisely why I am not ready to come out at work, even to the people that I like and trust. The gossip is just too juicy to keep a lid on.

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