When I started this blog a few weeks back, I saw it as a fresh start. I left behind my old screen name as well, at least the one I had used in the AIM chats. From that point on I decided I would only talk to people I met through this blog and a few select others I chose to transfer over.
One of those transfers was someone I’ll call AIM Boy. My guess is we’ve been chatting about a year. He’s a local kid who like me, is very much in the closet. He has seemed like a nice guy and we’ve had a good mix of real conversation and “cyber fun”…if you get my drift.
One night last week, we were chatting and he told me he kinda liked me and thought I might be fun to hang out with. I’m not really looking for more at this point and it would not go further because:
1) We’re both in the closet
2) Neither is in a place for a relationship
3) The biggest one: he’s on the young side (18) and won’t be staying here—I may not be here beyond this year either depending on grad school
I'm apprehensive about meeting up with people from online. I've never done it. Regardless, I said maybe someday that would be ok, but he questioned that I was ever going to agree to meet him because of what he called my “paranoia” about anyone finding out I’m gay. To help prove I’m not paranoid, I let him see my Facebook—real name, pictures, email, phone numbers, the works.
Mistake. By the next morning he’d de-friended me and while he didn’t block me on AIM, has not responded to my “hellos” since. Obviously he saw something he disliked and instead of being a man and asking me about it, he’s simply cut off communication.
Rude, rather hurtful and a reminder that I made the right choice to ditch the AIM chat rooms.