Tuesday, December 11, 2007

How Different Do I Feel?

Erik over at Whittle et. Al asks: How different do you feel? He has a lot of the same questions and fears we all do, although I will admit that I am far more socially liberal than he when it comes to issues such as gay adoption.

One of the things my Mom asked me after the unplanned coming out was why I had not done so until now, and we talked about the social ramifications that I am oh so aware of:

• I’ll never have natural children.
• I’ll never have a legal marriage.
• I’ll be forced to confront stereotypes every day.
• I may lose friends over it.
• There are some family members that can never know, because it would kill the close relationship I hold with them.
• And more…

Why then, would any person want to come out? Many of us face major hurdles in doing so. The fact of the matter is that I have come to believe that it is necessary to do in order to live a happy and productive adult life. I believe those of us who are gay were born gay…a belief I know is not shared by everyone, even some gay people.

The only choice I have made is to quit denying it. I will never be an activist, Pride-marching gay man…it’s just not me. And not every person I come in to contact with needs to know...if they figure it out, fine but they won't be flat out told.

But I need to find some comfort in who I am as a person, and I also do not wish to be alone for the rest of my life.

As far as being different, well, I already am. Some of you have been let in to my “real” life over the last few months and if you have you know I’ve faced bigger adversities than this.

I’m a pretty resilient SOB…whatever life’s going to throw at me as a result of my sexuality, I say bring it on, I’m not letting it get me down.


W said...

Resilience is my armour too.But I do have moments of weakness. It's a pretty vicious cycle, and I think the overt and in your face sexuality of Pride Parades does nothing but set back the community.

Pete said...

I think this is the right attitude. It's personal, after all, and you get to choose who gets to know and who doesn't. And there's no way to control gossip, it'll always be there so just ignore it.

Jake said...

Those are a lot of nevers.

Don't be a part of being gay, let being gay be a part of you.

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