About a week ago, before my semi-hiatus, I posted about the debate I was having about how to answer the "How Goes It?" question with regard to The Advisor.
Several days ago, I emailed him, and chose to go with option two. I was honest about how things were going. In the closing paragraphs of the email, I wrote:
"There is one other thing I want to share with you that sort of relates to living happily, at least as far as I am concerned. Over the past several months as I have struggled with pending and post graduation anxiety, employment worries, grad school worries and the like, I have thought a lot about who I am and who I want to be as a happy and productive adult. It is, as we talked about back in the Spring, something every person goes through.
However, there is one thing I did not tell you then that I know you will relate to very much is that I have begun to acknowledge that I too, am a gay man. I’m choosing to share this with you because I want you to know how much I respect you for having the courage to live your life openly and I hope that in time, as I enter what you’ve termed an accepting and affirming profession in [...] that I will be able to do the same. "
Why tell you now? Because the final car on my post holiday roller coaster was being asked point blank by my mother, after having dinner with a group of mostly gay friends if I was as well, and telling the truth. She reacted positively, although Dad may be a tougher cookie to crack so I’m waiting a little while on that one. My dinner companions know/knew, as do [Apple Guy] and [Daisy Duke]. In fact, [Apple Guy] was the one who unwittingly broke the camel’s back with a comment about my need to “get in touch with myself” during the trip to [event]…so in a way I owe him a debt of gratitude as well..."
I hadn't heard anything from him, and as he is usually quick to respond, thought perhaps I'd shocked him to speechlessness. This afternoon, I got a message from him...he apologized for the delayed response...apparently he's recovering from a hospital stay. He wrote, in part:
"Appreciated taking me into your confidence when you came out. Certainly will provide new conversations for us. I hope that you've found/are finding supportive folks.
More when I'm back to campus."
It feels good to know that another person I trust and respect knows about this aspect of my life.