Saturday, December 8, 2007

Answering "How Goes It?"

About a week ago, before my semi-hiatus, I posted about the debate I was having about how to answer the "How Goes It?" question with regard to The Advisor.

Several days ago, I emailed him, and chose to go with option two. I was honest about how things were going. In the closing paragraphs of the email, I wrote:

"There is one other thing I want to share with you that sort of relates to living happily, at least as far as I am concerned. Over the past several months as I have struggled with pending and post graduation anxiety, employment worries, grad school worries and the like, I have thought a lot about who I am and who I want to be as a happy and productive adult. It is, as we talked about back in the Spring, something every person goes through.

However, there is one thing I did not tell you then that I know you will relate to very much is that I have begun to acknowledge that I too, am a gay man. I’m choosing to share this with you because I want you to know how much I respect you for having the courage to live your life openly and I hope that in time, as I enter what you’ve termed an accepting and affirming profession in [...] that I will be able to do the same. "

Why tell you now? Because the final car on my post holiday roller coaster was being asked point blank by my mother, after having dinner with a group of mostly gay friends if I was as well, and telling the truth. She reacted positively, although Dad may be a tougher cookie to crack so I’m waiting a little while on that one. My dinner companions know/knew, as do [Apple Guy] and [Daisy Duke]. In fact, [Apple Guy] was the one who unwittingly broke the camel’s back with a comment about my need to “get in touch with myself” during the trip to [event]…so in a way I owe him a debt of gratitude as well..."

I hadn't heard anything from him, and as he is usually quick to respond, thought perhaps I'd shocked him to speechlessness. This afternoon, I got a message from him...he apologized for the delayed response...apparently he's recovering from a hospital stay. He wrote, in part:

"Appreciated taking me into your confidence when you came out. Certainly will provide new conversations for us. I hope that you've found/are finding supportive folks.

More when I'm back to campus."

It feels good to know that another person I trust and respect knows about this aspect of my life.


Mr. X said...

i think it's great you were able to do this. i'm sure it must be nice finally being able to be honest in expressing yourself.
the two of you will have lots to talk about and you'll be able share different experiences.

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