All I Can Say: HOLY SHIT!

Tonight I had dinner with MBA Man, Country Girl, Fly Boy, and friends of MBA Man and Fly Boy. I had told MBA Man about a week ago that I was probably going to use the opportunity to come out to Country Girl.

Most of the dinner conversation was typical. We laughed and joked and partook in usual meal banter. We had a conversation about how much I hate text messenging on my phone, so the others sent a few in jest.

Toward the end of the meal, Fly Boy's friend brought up the fact that I was the only straight man at the table. I then asked why he assumed that, and when Country Girl gave me a confused look and didn't quite pick up on the "You realized what I just admitted, don't you" , I looked at her and whispered "I'm not straight" which was followed by a shocked look from her.

At that point all the guys at the table decided it was time for another drink and headed down to another restaurant in the mall. I talked to CG for a few more minutes and basically explained the short version of how I had gotten to this point. I asked her to stay mum on the subject but did say she could talk to her mom about it.

So we went down to the other restaurant and had a couple more drinks. The guys teased me a bit about being "one of them now". CG was pretty quiet...I think she was trying to let it sink in, but she has assured me she's OK with it. We all hugged as we were leaving, and Fly Boy made me promise to go out with them afterwards next time...they all headed to the bars but I could not since Mom was shopping in the mall and had done so in order to be my ride home after my dinner.

I expected that to be the end of my coming out for the night...

In the car, Mom and I had a conversation. It went something like this:

Mom: So who was at Dinner?

Me: MBA Man, Country Girl, Fly Boy, MBA Man's Coworker, Fly Boy's Coworker

Mom: So how is everyone?

Me: (Fill her in)

Mom: So does Fly Boy's Coworker date girls or guys? (He was new to the group)

Me: He's gay

Mom: Oh. A lot of your friends seem to be. Is Country Girl?

Me: No, she's interested in a guy at work.

Mom: Are YOU gay?

At this point I there was a pause while I decided whether to lie or not...

Me: Am I GAY? Are you seriously asking me that? Why on earth would you ask me that?

Mom: Well are you?

Me: What do you think?

Mom: Probably not.

Me: If you really want an answer, I will give one. You're wrong. The answer is yes.

Mom: Yes what?

Me: Yes, I'm gay.

Basically I spent the rest of our short ride home trying to explain how long I'd known and asking if she'd ever had any inkling. She really didn't...but we were both very matter of fact. I told her I understood if she didn't agree, but that it is what it is.

All in all, she seemed very understanding. I asked that she not say anything to Dad for now, because he may not take it so well, and I am living under their roof after all.

It was TOTALLY unplanned and I'm kinda freaked that I actually did it. I mean, holy frickin shit I am out to my mother!

Definitely a night I will not soon forget.